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Sunday, 8 April 2012

The Importance of Men Embracing the Feminine (Goddess) Within the Divine

In our counseling work and in some discussions on the internet there are some men that complain men and criticize the so-called 'women's movement.' In Truth, it is men who manifested this 'movement' in the first place! It may have been 'inadvertantly', but, nevertheless men and their need to dominate women were in many ways, responsible for the birth of the women's movement. For centuries the patriarchal energy men used to manipulate with fear, greed, guilt, force and self-centerd-ness was there for centuries until women gathered and decided it was time to take their power back.
There is a pressing need for people to come to terms that are closer to reality than what they have allowed themselves to be manipulated and led by, for so long. The male-dominated world we have lived in for many centuries can only be termed 'unbalanced'- its time men learned to embrace the Goddess energy.
Some men have 'separation anxiety' from their from their mothers. This anxiety gets buried deeply and expresses itself in scenarios that are not conducive to health, happiness or any form of peace. Embracing the Goddess energy opens the door for men to express what they have denied, buried and/or masked. In so doing they have developed a set of "definers" about what they think it mans "to be a man' and both women and men bought into it.
The unfortunate thing for men is that these stereotypes cut men off from a channel to express their their sensitivity. How could one be 'abandoned' or 'separated' from the very Source of their Being? It happens by what Buddhists call--"conditioned existence." I wrote an article a few years ago about men how there is a much higher suicide rate for them over women. Also when men take their lives it is often a much more final and violent way than women.
There is a growing need for men's voices to be heard in loving, honoring ways and that is what embracing the Goddess can do for them--and women's understanding about the changes men are either going through...or will need to go through to become healed and whole. One of the generalizations women make about men is "they need anger management." We present courses on anger/conflict resolution for men that have been mandated by the courts to attend because they have been convicted for violence and domestic abuse. They say they are continually judged and grew into the mode of their convictions to survive.
During the  16 hours we spend in session with them I cannot think of one man that was not abused as a child and they all grew up with the idea that the one emotion men are entitled to is "anger." When asked if they had ever considered that their anger was based in hurt they all pause and say, "no." They were told as boys "to man up" rather than expressing hurt, sadness, fear and a sense of loss. Consequently it was never an option for them to open to any of the nurturing receptivity within Goddess energy and the Feminine within themselves or others. 
Women began to break free of their conditioned thinking about what it means "to be a women" as a direct result of the women's movement. Undeniably it shook up the rule book both genders had been living by and in many ways it still is. Women have had to learn that we can embrace the masculine aspects of the Yang--strength, independence outwardly directed goals, having boundaries and a strong voice.
Men are still reeling from the ripple effect of women making their way in a world that was once dominated by men. Women organized ourselves and the movement, have put social services in place to protect themselves and their children and have a lot of resources to help them heal and become whole. Now men are struggling to regain their balance and equilibrium and there are fewer resources to assist them and their voice is not being heard and that is why David and I are so committed to promoting ideas of equality and common ground for both genders.
One of the great resistance some men will have to this concept of embracing and allowing themselves to express their 'softer' facets; they may feel it means they are expected to become 'gay' or something less than what they are now.
The prospect of loss is not good incentive to consider changing perspective. But, if men can be encouraged to see and accept that they already already have these attributes within them it will be easier to access and express them more openly without fear of reprisal. Hopefully; those that harbour homo-phobic tendencies will see shy away from opening their hearts and minds to the gentler aspects of their BE-INGS.
David and have written, produced and presented a number of courses on conflict resolution, creating healthy relationships within Sacred Partnerships and win-win communication. In those courses we ask participants to call out adjectives that they think are most commonly associated with men..and women. They are usually ones that have the stereotypical mindsets about what defines each gender. Afterwards we flip the chart and ask each gender...
Do women have and of these traits?
Then we do the same with the descriptors of men.
Heads nod in agreement.
The reason being if we look closely, more similarities than differences. Perhaps that is a way to begin to balance ourselves- Look for the similarities and honor them in both genders. Men can openly validate women's strength, courage and independence. Women can honor men when they are open, communicative, tender and sensitive.
Some women may feel a threat to this concept as well. They may have a strong attraction to the wrestler-type, chest-beating, hairy, sweaty, 'he-man'. When David and I first came together I had never met a man that was so willing to let me know when I had hurt him. Nor did I have a frame of reference for the respect he held for me and my strong, independent personality. I grew up with a very controlling, manipulating father and had always been suspicious of strong men or those that offered to do too much for me. I always thought they had another agenda.
It took a lot of talking for me to actually be able to process that David is a really strong man but also has his feminine aspect in balance. In our counselling sessions with couples women openly admit upon questioning that they are not used to having to handle how they feel when a man cries or is able to share his more vulnerable feelings. So both genders need to be able to discuss these challenges more openly to assist each other in loving, honoring ways.
In fact, I think a lot of women would agree, it is his displays of sensitivity that make him even more attractive! Really, women have been exploring their 'male' qualities more in the last 30 years or so, as far as business and the workplace goes. But, this
-to me- is not the complete picture-yet. Women have embraced the Yang within, partially, but in a way that is less about spirit than it is finance. And indeed, it is (partially) finance and the rising costs of living in our culture that has driven women to such a maze as the corporate world. Luckily, again, their communication skills allow them to excel in that area.
In an Ideal world, everyone, or most people, will have the faith, trust and balance to pursue their Heart's desire throughout their entire lives. 'Work' becomes something that one does from their passion for the 'work'- not something that is done from the fear of not having enough. This will only come about when we strive and seek to find a more stable sense of Balance within ourselves, and with each other- which will evolve naturally, as we balance our selves.
In the Beginning was the Matriarchy
Woman was the creator of the Life Force and was worshipped as the Great Goddess which includes 3 aspects; Maiden, Mother and Crone, based on the three faces of the moon. Women were the Great Goddess' Earthly incarnation. In the Matriarchal Clans women raised the children, gathered most of the food, invented the first tools, domesticated fire and animals, and used plants for healing. Goddess Worship reigned for over 25,000 years.
Shamanic Priestesses
These women provided the vital link between the community and its deity. With their sacred rituals and trance-dances, the priestesses channelled the creative energy of the Goddess into the material world. The shamans and seers, in their trance-states of enhanced awareness were responsible for keeping the channels open between the individual, the group and the cosmic source.
The Patriarchy
Around 3000BC, the peace-loving goddess-culture endured the invasion of the tribes of war-like, male-dominated nomads. These men subdued the goddess people, subjecting them to the power of the masculine. The balance of power shifted towards the male as rulers and priests consolidated their power and ousted the temple priestesses. New forms of marriage were introduced to control the women and establish paternity.
The line of property inheritance from father to son now formed the economic basis of men's power, just as common land ownership had been the basis of women's.
Male gods were introduced allowing no compromise with goddess worship. Male priests established a distant, stern, intolerant father-god in the minds and hearts of the people. All women were publicly designated as private property of some man... father or husband.
Witches and those using Goddess and earth based practices were burned at the stake within the male patriarchy.
The Rebirth
With the past and future swirling around us now we are given a brief glimpse into our soul's intended purpose for incarnation. Now is the time to integrate and embrace both the matriarchy and the patriarchy; the yin and the yang. The Goddess energy within us all is struggling to be recognized and utilized in the quest to achieve Inner Peace. Wholism is the focus for the future of this planet and her beings.
We can no longer deny that there is a universal ripple effect within All-That-Is. The spiritual substance that we are all a part of is energy based and transcends male/female/homo-sapiens or homosexuals, race, culture, creed, religion and color.
Removing the stereotypical projections towards men and women and focusing on balancing the masculine and feminine within everyone we meet and greet will open the door for true exploration of ourselves and each from a soul perspective and assist us in bringing out the best in each other.
'We all come from the Goddess 
and to her we shall return- 
like a drop of rain 
flowing to the ocean...' 
-pagan chant

Very few men or women deny the reality of the references to Mother Earth. It is the nurturing and feminine aspect that allows us to live our lives on this plane. Without her and everything she provides in the Natural World we would not survive. So embracing Goddess energy or the feminine presence within Source-centered awareness does not emasculate men. Quite the contrary once they awaken to it they are set free to embrace the full range of human emotions just as women do when they embrace the masculine aspects within themselves.
That leads to greater wholeness, healing, unity and consensus building.

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